July/August 2023

A deep dive into some rather heavy subjects, TW ahead.

As I was putting together this newsletter, I realized that with the combination of my exploration of mental health, paired with my review of Babel, this one is pretty heavy in the emotional department. Just a bit of a TW (trigger warning) for those who maybe can’t handle diving into that kind of stuff right now. (And no worries! You can always read this later down the road when you’re feeling better. I swear my next newsletter will be a lighthearted romp as normal.

Where am I?

I have been embedded in the Colorado Renaissance Festival in Larkspur, CO for the last month and will hear to end of July. It has been a rather stressful season thus far for a variety of reasons, which is probably how this newsletter ended up so… not as light as it normally is. Between my own mental health and that of others around me, my mother’s recent death from Alzheimers, and being apart from my partner for so long, respite seems elusive, but I am always hopeful. Taking the time to write at my favorite cafe in Old Colorado City today is certainly helping.

So What’s Going on with the Book?

Writing is one of the most beautiful explorations of human emotional ranges one can partake in. I have loved to dive into a character's head and try to figure out just what they were thinking when something gets thrown their way, be it joyful or devastating. 

I have never been one to shy away from sharing my own journey with mental illness and neurodivergencey (Depression a mental illness, ADHD is not), but I am hitting a wall in terms of research and emotional register with a character in my book. She hits a breaking point and completely loses it. I have felt on the verge of this point many times in my life but have been so absolutely lucky to have supportive friends, family, and a partner who carry me through the worst of it. This spring was a particular low point for me, and not for any reason other than my brain not producing the necessary serotonin and dopamine to keep me functioning properly. Every ledge I faced, every time I felt like reality was about to slip away from me, a friend would come over, or my partner would call and I would be able to come back from the brink. It was so very difficult but I persevered and came out the other side. 

Now how do I write a character where that is not the case? Their family doesn't live nearby (and being mostly set in the middle ages, can't just pick up a phone) and they have experienced so much grief that they have pushed away most of their friends. Their community is there, sure, but being someone who is involved with an amazing and close knit community, I can tell you from personal experience that you can still feel alone. I mean, isn't that half of the point of most New York based stories? All those people and you still feel alone. When going through a mental health crisis, you generally barely know what you need to do with yourself, much less what others can do for you. That is the toughest part. 

I am hoping, now that I have found myself in a much better place mentally, that I can return to these fraught scenes with a sympathetic perception and figure out what might happen to set the next series of scenes into play. 

So What’s Going on with the Website?

Not much, just a bunch of reviews since I have been reading voraciously lately to chase that dopamine. There are some fun summer reads in there, so go and check them out! (no link cause you’re already here!)

What am I reading?

Babel

by R. F. Kuang

I was looking through Book of the Month's May selections and none of them jumped out at me this time, so I went through my bookmarked books to find something else; and boy howdie did I find a tome. A book about magic, history, and the personal impact of colonialism is right up my alley so I dove into Babel by RF Kuang. The first thing I noted was yet another woman in the historical fiction game using initials instead of their first name, so I'm in good company. Now let's talk about this spectacular opus. 

Babel follows Robin Swift as he goes from his sickbed at his home in Canton to a gentleman's home as his ward all the way to Oxford University to study Translation. But this is not just a normal School of Languages, it is a place where magic happens. RF Kuang sitautes her story in the midst of the Industrial Revolution but it is not the lightspeed inventions that are tipping the scale to benefit the wealthy and white, it is the silver bars imbedded into machinery and coaches and everyday objects to make them work better/harder/longer. These silver bars are etched with matching language pairs created by Translators at Babel, Oxford's foremost language study center, and exactly where Robin has been sent. His cohort consists of Ramy, a Hindi speaking Muslim from Calcutta, Victoire whose language abilities helped her escape her enslaved history in Haiti, and Letty a young English woman with a penchant for European Languages. They all encounter a variety of prejudice and outright racism (the latter not really applying to Letty) throughout their journey. Robin runs across a robbery almost-gone-wrong and learns about the Hermes Soceity, a secret group that is working to bring Trasnaltion and Silver Work to the masses. Robin doesn’t want to get involved too much because they sometimes support violence to get what they want. He has to figure out if his goals or his morals are more important and which is the most defensible, with or without the threat of violence.

It is difficult to stress the beautiful way Kuang weaves in colonialist overtones and undertones throughout this story as Robin and his friends figure out, with the help fo the Hermes Society, the destruction an institute such as Babel can wield in the world if kept in control of the few. They want the world to benefit from their work, not jut the rich and white and powerful. There are characters you hope will prove themselves and fail, and other characters who you wouldn't think to come through but do. I can't go into much details without revealing important plot points because many of them are so inextricably linked to the climax. This is a book that builds and builds til there is not other way out. 

Babel is funny, heartwrenching, hopeful, and poignant to all of us in this post-colonial world we live in. I finished it in about a week and have been on a lighthearted romcom kick since then, so take that how you will. Like The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, I want to read it again but I need some time to process all that it encompasses. Thew world isn't how it should be and we can all do something to change it. Even if it seems hopeless and futile, the fight is worth any risks. 

Where can I get this book?

I have opened up an affiliate shop on Bookshop.org! If you want to read this one or see another recommendation from me, check out my own curated bookshop and support, not only small, independent bookshops around the country, but your soon-to-be favorite author as well! (Me, that’s me.) Keep checking in as I add new reads and old favorites!

If you liked this newsletter or want to know about something specific, let me know!

I know this newsletter has been a departure from my usual excited, encouraging, engaging style, but I think it important to be honest and the more vocal we are with each other about our troubles, the more we can help others who are suffering silently and alone

If you or someone you know is struggling and you want to figure out a way to help or even just receive encouraging support, call 988. Anyone can call the Lifeline, whether they are thinking about suicide or not, and get emotional support. There is no minimum age, and you can receive support at any time, even on holidays. As long as you have a phone, you can call the number and talk to someone. You are not alone and you are loved.